5 People Not To Bring To Your Holiday Soiree
By Laurel House
You’re sick of the redundant holiday party question: “why are you still single?” You’d like your parents to find a new topic of conversation that doesn’t involve the guilt trip around grandkids and your seeming inability to produce them? You’re desperate to please your family, or at least to appease them? But you’re still single? No matter how badly you want to change the dynamic, don’t do it by faking it!
Here are 5 people not to bring to your holiday soiree:
1. Someone you just met
2. A friend posing as more
3. An ex
4. An actor
5. An escort
1. Someone you just met.
If either of you believe that your relationship may have progressed beyond just needing a date to the party, then being introduced as your current love will certainly confuse things. While you might be of the belief that they are a mere seat filler, they may feel that you two are in a firmly affixed relationship. I mean, meeting the parents… that’s saying something! If you think there could be real potential of a relationship down the line but you’re just not there yet, meeting the family is not the way to fast-track your romance. Why? Because hanging out with your family is NOT romantic! And chances are, the person who you present when around your parents, cousins and aunt is not the same person who you show to your brand new beau.
What to do instead: Let your family know that you are seeing someone special, but you’re not ready to expose him to the family just yet… At least then you are giving your parents a glimmer of hope that a grandkid could be popping out in the near future.
2. A Friend posing as more.
If your friend is open to being your fake date at a family holiday event, chances are they are interested in more. And while their ulterior motives may help them to play the role well, that acted intensity can also totally screw with their minds and forever mess up your friendship.
What to do instead: If you want your friend to join you and serve as moral support for when you are accosted by the onslaught of “why aren’t you married and popping out children yet?” questions, make sure that you introduce your friend as just a friend and that you don’t allow too much alcohol to push your relationship over the edge into the murky ”friends with benefits” zone.
3. An Ex.
You broke up for a reason. And, unless A. you both want to give the relationship another shot and B. your ex already knows and is loved by your parents, don’t bring any more potential drama to the party by adding your ex to the mix. If either of you still carry feelings of resentment, anger, hurt, or desire, the family dynamic will just add fuel to the fire and exacerbate residual emotions.
What to do instead: The fact that you have an ex should show your parents that you aren’t completely pathetic in the marriage/children-potential department. Let them know that you are making progress, but that you don’t want to add someone who isn’t good enough to the family. Because once you have a kid together, that ex, who should have stayed in the past, will FOREVER be in your life!
4. An Actor.
Because you don’t know them! So why should you trust them to understand your non-verbal “save me from talking to my great aunt Carol” wide-eyed stare or even care to make a decent first impression when you two don’t yet particularly care for each other? No matter how much you debrief this hired impersonator, it is unlikely that they will be able to pick up on your non-verbal cues, participate in personal story conversations, or seem natural in the affection department. And really, why would you want to be hanging out with an actor anyway?
What to do instead: Save your money and buy yourself a gift instead.
5. An Escort.
Because you’re not that desperate. And if you are, remember that the art of seduction is an escort’s area of expertise. You could find yourself falling for them and *think* that you are swooning due to true feelings. But you’re not. And if you try to make out with them (or more) those extra acts of service will likely be added to the tab.
What to do instead: Spend your money on a dating coach.
If you haven’t found the love of your life yet, you should not waste any more time and sign up with Zoosk.