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10 Questions You Should NEVER Ask a Bisexual on an Online Dating Site
By Top10BestDatingSites Staff
Oh, to be bisexual on an online dating site. Between threesome offers, misunderstandings, overly direct pick-up lines, and expressed doubt or confusion over sexual orientation – it’s no easy feat to openly display bisexuality online. Fortunately, there are gay and bisexual women dating sites like GayDating that can help bi-ladies avoid such awkward and ignorant inquiries. Regardless, often times these questions are completely unavoidable, and the ones at fault are those who misunderstand bisexuality and how to approach bisexuals. With that in mind, we’re here to discuss the top 10 worst questions that bisexuals are often (and unfortunately) asked on online dating sites, and how NOT to ask them.
1. Are You Really Bisexual?
Nothing is more annoying to a bisexual than to have their sexuality be put into question. Chances are, if someone says they’re bisexual they most likely are. So being asked if it’s a lie can be a huge put-off. Sure, there are plenty of straight people who claim to be bisexual to seem more attractive to the opposite sex, but those who are genuinely describing their sexual orientation have to deal with constant doubt.
2. Aren’t you Just Being Greedy?
Let’s get this straight. There are over 3 billion people worldwide! No, bisexuals are not attempting to be greedy by having a sexual orientation, nor is this indicative of how often they have sex or how many relationships they’ve had in the past. If anything, bisexuality is about following a natural sexual orientation and being open to falling in love with the right person, not every person!
3. Would you Join us for a Threesome?
Being bisexual doesn’t mean that a person is more or less sexually adventurous, nor does it mean that they are interested in a purely sexual experience over a loving, romantic relationship. Unfortunately, many couples (especially straight men) will hit on bisexual women through online dating sites in the hopes of fulfilling their threesome fantasy. Most won’t succeed!
4. So, You’re Experimenting?
It’s difficult for people to understand that bisexuality is not a phase, it’s a sexual orientation no different than being gay or straight. In most likelihood, the bisexual you are speaking to is not experimenting – this is their way of life. So unless a dating profile specifically says that they are looking to experiment, don’t offend the person you contact with this stereotype!
5. Which Do You Prefer – Men or Women?
Everyone’s sexual orientation and bisexuality can range– some bisexuals may be more interested in the opposite sex or feel equally attracted to both or prefer dating a bisexual. Starting off a conversation about which gender or sexual orientation they prefer is invasive. How about getting to know them a little bit before jumping into their sexual and romantic preferences?
6. Was Your Last Relationship with a Man or a Woman?
Bisexuals can only respond one way when immediately cornered to answer questions on former relationships: does it matter? Whether the prior relationship was with a woman or a man makes no difference to future partners. When a special someone comes into your life, it’s irrelevant who your ex was. This is a valid question to ask once you’re getting to know each other and asking about prior relationships, not before.
7. Are you Confused about your Sexuality?
Like the prior question on experimentation, most bisexuals are not confused about their sexuality. If anything, they have come to understand their sexuality as being attracted to both genders and thus are very aware of their sexual orientation. For many, this can be as difficult a process as coming out of the closet can be to gay men and women.
If you misunderstand bisexuality, using an offensive pick-up line to hit on a bisexual man or woman is not the way to go. Unless you’re doing a PhD on sexuality, take a big step back from your personal and misconstrued theories on bisexual women psychology. If anything, it’s the perfect way to ensure that the other person immediately goes on the defensive or ignores you altogether.
8. Do you Have Loads of Sex?
Whoa!! Hold on there, partner. You should never start a conversation with anyone on a dating site asking about their sex life. Now that it’s been settled, let’s discuss why this is an improper pick-up question for bisexuals.
Bisexual women are overly sexualized, especially in the media. People assume that bisexuals have orgies constantly, date everyone and anyone, and lead a crazy sex life. Not so! Just because both genders are an option, doesn’t mean that every bisexual is leading a wild sex life. It varies, just like it does for every other person, regardless of their sexual orientation.
9. So You’re Not REALLY Gay, Then?
If anyone thinks it’s easy for a bisexual to come out of the closet, they are dead wrong. Bisexuals are both hetero and homo sexual, so they harmonize sexually with both straight and gay people. This is one of the most damaging attitudes other gay people can have towards bisexuals, causing bi people to feel like they don’t fit in with the LGBT community and they can’t win either way – not with the straight nor the gay community. How about treating them like a human being with a sexuality that feels attracted to both genders, rather than classifying them as one or the other?
10. Are You Just Looking to Get Attention?
Is this an acceptable pick-up question to ask anyone on a dating site, regardless of their sexual orientation? The idea that bisexual people are only trying to seek attention is distasteful, especially considering the amount of unwelcome sexual attention that comes from being bisexual (how many threesome offers can a woman get?!).
Taking a Step Back: Making the Bisexual Dating Game Work
Bisexual women and men may find it unavoidable to deal with the never-ending curiosity and misinformation of others, but that’s not a good reason to miss out on the potential of finding love on online dating sites. Openness and understanding of bisexuality is on the rise and nowadays, finding the right partner is all about using the right dating sites. If you are bisexual or interested in dating someone who is, take a look at bisexual women dating sites or bisexual-friendly sites like Zoosk. You will find that there are plenty of open and knowledgeable people who care about finding their match.
Ready to ask all the right questions? Match.com is a great place to start, regardless of your sexual orientation!