The Best Dating Sites of 2021

6 Reasons Why He Didn't Call You After Your First Date

By Top10BestDatingSites Staff


You thought that you two had a wonderful time -- and then you waited. After a while, you realized that the call was never coming. Many women drive themselves crazy trying to figure out why men don't call them after the first date, looking through reams of dating advice and consulting with all of their friends. In fact, it usually boils down to a few simple reasons.

1. You Didn't Look Like He Expected

Sometimes this isn't your fault. A 2D picture just isn't a proper representation of a person. But it can also be because you're self-selecting photos for your online dating profile that downplay any physical characteristics you dislike. And you know what? There's a reason why almost every dating sites advice column says not to do this. Say you've always been sensitive about being unusually tall, so you select photos in which you look short. Not only is this going to turn off any guy who wanted to meet a shorter woman, but it will also mean that you won't get interested messages from men looking for a tall one! Presto: self-sabotage.

A good way to avoid this issue happening in the date? Use a dating site like Zoosk that offers video chat and see each other prior to your first date.

2. You Talked About Your Ex Too Much

This is one of those things that we're told to never do by dating advice columnists -- and then we go and do it. It can be easy to start talking about an ex for two reasons: you're already mentally comparing your date to your ex and you're looking for affirmations that this new guy is nothing like him. But for most people it can be tiresome. Even if the topic of ex-partners comes up, you should just skirt the issue politely. At least until the second or third date.

3. You Stumbled On A "Deal Breaker"

Most people have one or two little things that they just can't get past: being a smoker, having kids, voting Republican. It can be easy to stumble on these things and not know it, especially if your date was trying to be polite. One of the best features of dating sites like eHarmony is the ability to look through their profile and check what they may or may not like in partner. If you're really wondering why a date went awry, you might want to see whether you stumbled upon any of these major deal breakers. (A good piece of first date advice: be honest with your deal breakers in your profile, so it never gets to this point.)

Woman looking on the web for women's dating advice

4. He Already Found Someone Else

It can be devastating to think that you aren't as good as someone else, but that's not actually what this implies. Many people are dating a few (or more!) people through online dating sites at a time, in various states of getting to know them. By the time he actually goes out on a first date with you, he might already be five dates into someone else and about to make a commitment. It's just an issue of timing -- and that's why it's important to strike while the iron is hot.

5. He Was Looking for Something More Casual

This doesn't necessarily mean that he's looking for a hookup or a fling, though; he may have just gotten the sense that you're looking for a commitment or a more serious relationship than he's prepared to offer. Some women are planners and may immediately start thinking ahead in a relationship -- is this guy right for me? Will my parents like him? What would our kids look like? To someone who isn't peering that far into the future, questions like this can seem frightening.

6. He Wasn't Ready To Be Dating

Maybe he got busy at work. Maybe he got back with his ex. Maybe -- and this does unfortunately happen -- he wasn't actually single yet at all. Online dating makes it extremely easy for someone to jump into the dating pool. This accessibility is one of the great things about online dating, but some people jump in before they're ready. So before you decide that it's all about you (and stress over it), consider that it might actually be all about him.

It's not the end of the world. Plenty of first dates don't work out! And as you can see, there are a lot of reasons why.

The best thing you can do is get back in the game. Open up an account on and try, try again! And remember, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

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